mood: thirsty

_{^{The most trialing and annoying time watching The Descent. I had no idea it would be a movie about cave divers (duh?) considering the title. But then again, I brought a special friend who wants my ass, cant get closer on the arm rest. I can still feel the cramping in my tricep. Continuously moving his arm back to starting position after claiming my arm space. And on top of that, we are not talking about a small frame here. Like HELLO! Theres nothing i cant STANd more than a brush of dense arm hair. So we showed up at the theatre, had 1hour to burn, went to TGIF and got some wings and some mozza "sqaures", with the description on the menu which read, "warm and qooey inside." The joke was funny, not the person telling it. Then the waiter decides to bring me slimy hot wings instead of crispy bbq could've slapped her the big one. Then when I tell her how everything is going she actually admits to having grabbed the wrong order?  Fucking ditz. On top of that the hostess is some cracker that i've met before, wearing a gypsy skirt with the cheeryist dispostion of a zombie with abullet in the brain. So we moved our table over to the window where we had more of a view. Then the song She's Homeless came on which made all my complaints dissappear for 2 minutes. Can't think of who sings that song but i know its like the same age as Roxette's,Joy Ride. Fuck I have to start downloading music. My music collection is older than me.  So I decide to buy Metric's Live It out, which seems to be a tad crappy conmpared to the 1st. And Peaches Imbush My Peach, only becuase it's brand spankin new and the bitch got talent. I still need her first one but it's her new one that just came out in time for the concert in October, and Future Shop, buddy clerk already had it opened to read the slipper, "but it can't be discounted sorry." Lame, I'll take it anyway, thanks MATTHEW.  So Since French Boy from Montreal moves into my best friends house, I don't get a phonecall for about a week. That's when u truly know who your friends are? Shit... So I get a call from him yesturday cause he needed to tall me that French ass has left the building, just came home one day to an empty place except for a pair of Nikes' and some protein powder? So I call up Daniel and we go to Pride with all his family and friends and boytoys and I find myself getting fresh with soft boy bodies. Could I resist a guy that looks like Flea at 23? They were so closeted bisexual, i love that.}}

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore --
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door --

Only this and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the beak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; -- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow -- sorrow for the lost Lenore --
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore --

Nameless here for evermore

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me -- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating:
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door --
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;

This it is and nothing more."

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you" -- here I opened wide the door; --

Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!" --

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard the tapping something louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see, then, what there is, and this mystery explore --
Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery explore; --

"'Tis the wind and nothing more."

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he,
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door --
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door --

Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure not craven,
ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore --
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Much a marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Thought its answer little meaning -- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door,

With such name as "Nevermore."

But the Raven, sitting lonely on that placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing farther then he uttered; not a feather then he fluttered --
Till I scarcely more than muttered: "Other friends have flown before --
On the morrow he will leave me as my Hopes have flown before."

Then the bird said, "Nevermore."

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore --
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore

Of "Never -- nevermore.'"

But the Raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling
Straight I wheeling a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore --

Meant in croaking "Nevermore."

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into by bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor
"Wretch," I cried, "thy Good hath lent thee -- by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite -- respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore! Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil! --
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate, yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted --
On this home by Horror haunted, -- tell me truly, I implore --
Is there -- is there balm in Gilead? -- tell me -- tell me, I implore!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! -- prophet still, if bird or devil! --
By that heaven that bends above us -- by that God we both adore --
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore --
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

"Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting --
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! -- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from my hear, and take thy form from off my door!"

Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted -- nevermore!

mood: chipper

Hell's Kitchen
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fuck.

mood: irate

I have a crator in my brain that drives me insane. It gets worse when I drink OJ. I cant be healthy. Nothing works on the inside. I feel windy and lightheaded. I'll knock you down becuase its fun like bumper cars. I live life like an ape swinging from tree to tree until I find the juiciest banana, then I can rest for awhile. But until then, it's hard work being me. I hate bananas.

I'll be the model citizen who believes in having a soul. Anyone care to join my cult? Just fill out the form below:

Bitch: your name here...

mood: mellow

I want a Caravan so I can get to a job that pays well. I want to dress it up in skull stickers and pollute it with pop cans and lucky pennies. When I drive I will always beep before entering traffic becuase I know this will prevent people from wanting to crash into it's hideousness. I want to paint it with my body. I will name it Lucille and have a melody box attached to its radio in order to play a tute that goes with every occasion. I will be a carpooling Taxi service for those in distress from waiting for public transportation. It will be "inspector gadget like" instead or real becuase we'll need to get past traffic. Traffic causes brain tumours.
It will smell of marshland and buckwheat. It can't ever be known as a junk car or art van because of its worldliness it will have it's own vibe. Like lifelike, i will paint a grizzly face on the bumper. Maybe I will install a radio to match for voice conversations. That way, if I can't ecide where I'm going, Lucille will tell me. Well I know we've finally reached our destination(farmland), Wewill get out and share some pinenuts and rice pudding. We will thank the clouds for our freedom and be aware that tommorow is Smore's for dinner by the light of the campfire. Then wash our hands of today and pray for our past judgements, our resentments and our pride. We are animals and none of us are equal. Will I live to work for the dead? This future of dread. We are all bored therfore we are dead.
~ This declaration was dedicated to "Boredom"